DIE THE WAY YOU WANT TO | VIEW FROM 80

This week I completed a six weeks grief group at a nearby church, using the book my brothers and I wrote, Dear Brothers: Letters Facing Death. At our last session we discussed final wishes about our death, incluiding? how and where we wanted to die. One of the group refused to attend this session, still locked??into denial about her death. Other groups members shared how difficult it was to discuss their wishes with their adult children who avoided any discussion of the subject like the plague. However, medicine is so good now in keeping people alive that we must increasingly choose how and where we will die. Will we choose to die in a hospital with bleeping machines and blinking montitor. or die at home with hospice care that can blunt the fear and pain of these final hours? My mother died in?a ?nursing home, ?only a few days after she was admitted there. She was able to remain at home during a long struggle with Parkinson?s dementia, before my faher and sister had to place her in a nursing home. My father preached a sermon on ?Have?A ?Good Day,? and died a few days later from a massive coronary. Thus he was spared the agony of a long drawn out struggle. Recently I visited a dying man whose wish was to die at home. The family had placed him on a bed in the parlor,as if on display, and family members and an ?endless stream of visitors hovered over him before he breathed his last. I recall another man who was dying at home, and asked his wife to call certain friends to come so he could say goodbye to then. Martin Luther said, ?Every person must live their own life, and die their own death.? Death is private and personal. the point is that we need to state clearly what our wishes are for how and where we die so that we may leave this earth with dignity. (To be continued)

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Dr. Richard L. Morgan grew up on the campus of the University of Pennsylvania, and earned degrees from Davidson College, Wake Forest University, M.A. in Counseling and three degrees from Union Theological Seminary, Richmond, Va. including a Ph.D, in Early Christian History. He served pastorates in West Virginia and North Carolina where he developed a dynamic older adult ministry. While a pastor in Lenoir, NC he was named, "Man of the Year' by the city of Lenoir for his work with older adults, including building a Senior center for the community. He also served as professor of Religion at Peace College, Raleigh, NC and Presbyterian College, SC and taught Psychology at Mitchell Community College, Statesville, NC and was Director of Counseling at Western Piedmont Community College, Morganton, NC. He also served as a pastoral counselor at the Life Enrichment Center, under the auspices of the Baptist Hospital Pastoral Care department, where he did his Certified Pastoral Education work. After his "retirement," Dr. Morgan devoted himself to writing, and since 1991 has written 14 books, including best sellers, No Wrinkles on the Soul and Remembering Your Story.' His next book, No Act of Love is Ever Wasted: Caregiving for People with Dementia, was co-authored with Dr. Jane M. Thibault will be published by Upper Room Books in the Fall of 2009. All of his published works are described on this web site. At present, Dr. Morgan is a resident at Redstone Highlands, a continuing care retirement community near Pittsburgh, PA. He continues his writing and is highly involved with doing Life Bios for independent living residents and worship and pastoral care for persons with Alzheimer's disease or other forms of dementia. Married to Alice Ann Morgan, a certified Director of Christian Education, they have 4 children and 10 grandchildren. This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

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